On Bromans

So there’s this show on OutTV. Kinda ridiculous. Bromans. Scantily clad guys, like near naked, and their equally barely covered girlfriends compete to be the ultimate Broman. The show is set as if in roman times. The contestants step back in time into this ancient Roman city set. Complete with period appropriate accoutrements. Citizens. Carts. Shopping. Buildings. Hosts. All made to look Roman, or it least in a Hollywood fashion.

The original trailer for itv2.

It’s here we find our modern day couples arriving.

The men arrive

It is here, in this facsimile of Rome, they will complete and rest and eat and stay. Or at least until one is voted off at the end of each show. The ultimate goal is to be the strongest gladiator. Through training and testing the weakest are revealed and, through consultation with the emperor, the bottom two are selected for elimination. The remaining contestants then vote for which of the two shall be eliminated.

So much backstory…

It’s basically a twisted version of survivor.

The couples are all young, and fit, and cute. You’ve got big ones and small ones, bright and dull; but they all have their appeal, and they all have next to nothing on. And it’s centered around the guys.

There are shower scenes with plenty of bare bottoms, each show. Hell when they first arrived the men were separated from the woman, told to strip naked, then stand chained to a wooden pole in the Colosseum. The early episodes even suggests gay relations with a few of the guys. A few erections here and there which the camera is always sure to reveal. Did I mention it’s on OutTV. A little gay is to be expected.

The first challenge

No nudity. PG-13 I suppose. But the suggestion is there. Most definitely a sexual vibe throughout. Something there for everyone really. Straight or gay. But it’s nice to be included with the Homo-erotica feel.

Ya it’s gay. I mean come on. It’s but a thin piece of gold fabric before revealing all these men have to offer as they wrestle each other to claim victory in one of the emperors games. Mud, you bet. They call it the cesspit but it’s basically mud wrestling. Both the women and men compete there.

A cesspit challenge

The main events, and most of the challenges take place in the Colosseum. It’s not built to scale, but it is made to look like a gladiators arena. It’s a sand ring the men compete in. Donning leather armor they battle with foam tipped weapons. Or sometimes, down to their undies, the men push and shove each other in some mock battle. Maybe it’s to carry the most sand bags, or perhaps uncover a buried treasure in the sand, but the men do so with intensity and true physicality. These prime examples of vitality, in their finest forms, tackle and push and pull each other with nothing but g-stings on. It is oh so good.

Serious competition I’m sure.

Leather and chains. Togas. Grapes and wine, and feasting and parties; it is Rome of the imaginings. All done with a sexually charged air I suspect was truer then.

Two gladiators compare penis size.
Just a friendly kiss.

The hosts

The hosts: Doctore and Dominus
Doctore in all his resplendent glory

Enormous giant of a man, so trim and fit, his upper body massive and huge. Muscles taunt and to a degree larger I thought was only fantasy, of some fabled superhero, not a real man. And such a handsome one at that, this colossus of a man. He’s the trainer and one of the hosts. This is Doctore.

He plays the drill Sargent well, barking orders at the men as he trains them to be gladiators. These men, already well built, look tiny in his presence. His deep baritone always pushing the men to fight harder. To find the reserves of strength within to continually push forward. He is also their judge deciding who is victorious in the physical challenges.

Dominus strikes a pose

Then there is the co-host: Dominus. Where the giant has the brawn the other brings the wit. He’s of average build and average looks, at least for the British. Next to the men, and indeed some of the women he looks positively small. And weak. But he is not. He is imbued with the special powers of being the emperors close personal assistant. And has a great intellect and the experience to govern this fictional town.

They hired a good actor for the role. He plays it with that dry British wit they are so famed for. Slightly humorous but with sharp point behind it. He plays with innuendo. Has sly asides to the camera. Makes clear his own attraction to the men. He does this all the while maintaining his character as the emperors hand.

He really is good in the role. I found myself instantly liking him. The kind of character I identify with. Or at least enjoy the company of. I’m not sure how much of that is the actor or the character, but well done.

Did I mention the contestants are near naked?

Celebrating a victory

The women too. Not my thing but if you’re into it I suppose they are attractive. Certainly some fit the classical definition of good looking. I don’t know, they seemed nice. A few I could see myself chatting with. Hell, could probably get along with all of them. Just not ringing it for me in the sexual department.

But they are good too. These women face their own challenges. A few being rather brutal too. And they did well. Still the interest for me, and the focus of the show, is on the men and their quest to be the ultimate Broman.

The women compete.

So tempted to give away the winner. But I won’t. Don’t want spoilers. I’ll just say I’m glad he and his lady won.

You get invested in the characters. Sure it’s a silly show. It’s yet another reality tv show. This time with a lot of homoerotic themes. But it’s incredibly well done.

The editing is slick stitching together a story. From the narration, to the hosts, to the way the contestants words are cut. Everything is in service of the story. To heighten the tension and excitement towards the big reveal of who will be victorious. You go episode to episode ridding this train of manufactured dramatic reality. It’s so well done as you begin to pick your favorites.

One of the many couples competing

It’s in someway real. It is a skills based competition. But I sometimes wonder if they aren’t prodding the participants to say a certain thing. Or take a certain action just to get a bit more drama going. They certainly do a lot of interviews with the camera. Thing is you never hear the questions (or promptings) just what they have to say. Interesting that it tends to fit in with the overall narrative. Again, hats off to the editor.

And indeed the whole production team. They got a good story there. It’s in no way revelatory to suggest realty television is scripted. It’s well understood today that it is. Not word for word, but most definitely they have a plot outline, and idea of where the story should go and the wherewithal to make it happen. And they do that well with Bromans.

If you’re going to watch reality tv, may as well be this one. It’s well done. And they’ve got nearly naked guys parading through most of the show. Some women too. But let’s face it, it’s all about the guys. This one is for the gays and ladies. Gay chick-flick approved.

Full cast, I mean contestants.

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