Fear of doing

I’ve allowed myself to become intimidated by the work of others. I don’t measure up in comparison to the successful. Semi professional at best. No natural gift there like the greats. Just common.

No portfolio. No prideful celebration of past works. Just something I did. I struggle to find anything I like.

I return to what I know. A video game. I go shoot away my life. I’m somewhat good at that.

Hell. No resume. Ive never needed one. I sorta fell into jobs through who I know. Since I know few beyond family, it’s usually falls to dede, who’s connections gets me jobs. Before that my mom and André who got me started in this career in the first place.

And I’m not all together bad at it either. Through the years I’ve gotten kinda good. I know how to assemble a page. Make things feel right. It’s just not the knock your socks off kinda designs. It’s always sorta chaising a trend. Not really creating new ones.

Good design is thinking. But it’s also artistic. There is a certain flair required to really make things sing. Sometimes I touch upon that, but mostly I miss. Striving but never reaching the greats.

I guess I

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